What can I do to make it all go away?

I've been in counselling with CAMHS for around 6 months now. I got referred because of a self-harm episode. I told my head of year, and then I got into counselling after being referred by my doctor. I had done it twice. I had done it once, let that fade slightly, and then did it again, then told someone. But I only told everyone about the second time. No one, including my counsellor, knows I had done it before. So then I went without self harm for over 2 months. Things at school got worse. The bullying got worse. Everything wherever I went got worse, including my self harm. Everytime I did it, it got worse. I started to hide it better. But all the time, no one except my friend Daniel knew. I kept stopping and starting. Now, it's a regular thing. I have lots of personal reasons, like every self harmer, but the main one is that I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. No matter how many times people tell me I am, and I am more deserving than anyone, it just makes me feel worse. It has literally got to the point where I don't want to live anymore. I almost got hit by a car, and I spent the next week wondering why that car had to swerve at the last minute, and how I could almost get hit again, but make sure I actually did some damage this time. Everytime I go to my counselling sessions, I lie. Everyone, except from Daniel, I lie to. I know I need help, but the lies are so deep now that I don't know what to say to undo it all. Also I am testing positive online for depression and PTSD (I won't tell my counsellor this though) and I'm waiting for results for social anxiety. Please help...