What should I do? I'm so confused and depressed?

I am only 15 and I feel depressed. I have for nearly 3 years, and I hate it. My mom or brother don't understand me, I am different from both of them in a much different way. My dad passed away in January 2009, 16 days after my 13th birthday. I wish I were more like him, I don't want to be like my mom or brother, they have the same personality and different ways of thinking and acting. I don't, I'm feminine and I have a different body shape and my eye color is different. I feel hopeless and upset, and lately it's been getting worse. It was really bad in May, and I don't know what to do. I've tried telling my mom, and none of my friends seem to know what I'm experiencing. I can't get counseling or therapy. I've been molested twice. I live in Michigan, and I think it's best to leave here. I don't want to, I really don't, but staying here is making me absorb all of this negative energy. I'm stressed out and depressed at the same time, the worst combination. My mom tells me to stop acting like a "drama queen" and act more like a "guy". It's just really annoying how she doesn't even understand her own son, it's sad as well. I just don't know what to do...I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and anxiety issues. I think I might be slightly bipolar, along with schizophrenia. Sometimes I hear voices in my head, I get pissed off at stupid bullshit, and my anxiety kills me in the general public. I smoke cigarettes on a daily basis, and honestly, I love smoking and it gets me through my bad moments and I'm not EVER quiting. I need help...before I try to hurt myself. Somebody with good advice...please help me! I'm desperate!